My Handbag Keeps Me Alive | Living Differently

My Handbag Keeps Me Alive | Living Differently


You can’t leave your heart at home,
but I possibly could. My pump is like a part of my body.
It helps me live. So, it’s with me everywhere I go.
It’s kind of like my friend. I guess I should give it a name,
or something. I have a disease called
pulmonary arterial hypertension, and I have a pump that pumps
an experimental drug called Remodulin into my body, and that is what is necessary
for me to stay alive. There is not a cure, they can
only make us feel better. They can never cure us, and some people even become immune
to the drug as time goes on. So, this drug doesn’t work forever,
and it doesn’t work for everyone. I’m trying to push out
all the air bubbles, so that they don’t get
into the cassette. So, I’m just connecting
my tubing right now. So, basically I’m just switching
pumps to my new medication and then I turn this pump on
so that it’s running. So, this is just trying to get
the fluid to fill up the tube so that there’s no air in it. There’s something
particular about Lauren, although she’s shy and quiet, she will say how she feels about
things but you have to pay attention because she will only say it once. And if you don’t hear
her the first time, you consider that opportunity gone. I try to listen to her
very carefully now, because what she has to say
has a profound impact on me and everybody around her. There we go – this pump is on,
so this is good to go, too. And then I just have to clean
everything up, basically. This is a picture of Lauren’s
heart CAP that she had, which says what her pressures are. This is also a picture
of Lauren’s central line, where it goes into her chest
and straight into her heart. Right here. This is Lauren when
she was just a little baby. She was always running
around with her pearls on. SHE LAUGHS
Huh, Lauren? Pearls and a diaper. That was Lauren. When I was little, I really didn’t
know there was much wrong with my dad because
he was very resilient, he never seemed sick to anyone. Joe was diagnosed with pulmonary
hypertension when he was 18. He never really let it get in
the way of what he did. He found a way to adapt. “Could this be genetic?” And they said,
“No, it’s idiopathic.” It happens, just… It was his luck. So, no, it never
even crossed my mind until I started having symptoms
and wondering what it was. Luckily, I had a great doctor that
said, “Let’s go check it out,” and decided that she in fact needed
a right-sided heart catheterization, and she was diagnosed. I was told that life expectancy –
I was actually shocked by this, cos I guess it’s hard to hear –
was one to five years. Without treatment,
I was told one to two, but she does have treatment. But I do think that that’s a very
individual thing for each patient. However, Lauren has been sick
a really long time. She’s been sick since
she was a little girl, even though we didn’t
have her diagnosed. I think that has played quite
a big toll on her body, not being oxygenated the way
that it needed to. So, I mean, I don’t know what
that’s going to do for Lauren’s life expectancy. I would hope to think
that within her lifetime, that we’re going to find a cure. SHE SOBS And that… It won’t be like that. And then, typically you have to… ..put the tube in a circle –
it’s kind of like a stress loop, so that if it gets pulled on, it
doesn’t just kind of, like, rip. I keep it in my purse all day long, sometimes I take it off when I go to
sleep, it depends how annoyed I am. But, yeah, I usually roll up
the tubing in my purse and just keep it there. People really don’t notice
if it’s in my purse, so. I guess I’m not scared because
I feel like there’s going to be a time when I’m going to need to be
scared and now is not that time. Like, I feel like I’m going
to know way beforehand, before anything happens – of course, that’s naive and we never
know what’s going to happen to us – but I feel like now is not the time
to be scared, for some reason. I can’t control what happens to me,
only how I respond to it, and so that’s the best thing that
I can do for myself is be positive. I’m going to nursing school
and I’m interested in becoming a Remodulin nurse
for other patients. One thing that happened was,
I was asleep and I woke up and it untwisted itself, and like, I hit a part of my tube
and it just dropped off. And so I knew
it had become detached. I flicked on the light,
looked in the mirror, saw that there was blood
all over my shirt. From there, I got on FaceTime with
my doctors, they told me what to do. That’s actually
happened to me twice. There is fear that if this happens
again, that it could be worse. Fatal. Which is why I wanted my dog. I decided to get my service dog
because I’m going to a dorm, I’m going to be alone with all
my medical equipment, and so I thought, as a safety precaution,
I wanted a dog to wake me up, so that’s why I got Ruby, it’s because of that whole
bleeding situation. There’s usually, like,
a long waiting list, it’s usually like three to five
years, and then it costs you like $35,000. I have a trainer
that trains me to train my dog. So, that was the quickest way
for me to get a service dog. There is a cure out there, I believe
that she can work through it and stand for that. So, I think that she has that
warrior spirit inside of her, just like her father did. I believe that she will be
at the forefront of research, clinical trials and therapies. I think she works really,
really hard on accepting things. I mean, it’s not perfect, you know, we all have our really bad days
and our really down days about it. But I think on a whole,
it’s a strange thing to say, but I think she’s embraced it. A lot of people push things
into the future, like, “Oh, I’ll get to it eventually,
I’ll learn to do this eventually.” But for me, it’s like,
if I want to learn to do something, now is the time to do it,
and I do it now. I think that’s a great thing
because even if I live a long time, then I would have done
all these amazing things, right? Because I didn’t do it
without inhibitions. And I think everyone
should live that way, not just people who may
have a shorter lifespan. Because then we’d
have awesome lives, not being afraid of what people
think of us would be great. SHE LAUGHS

100 Comments

  1. I have asma in my lung, and I’m the skinniest girl in my classroom… my mom and dad think that I’m weak…

  2. I feel so bad for herπŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ™πŸ™

  3. U r an absolute inspiration. God bless you. Thank you for making me realise how important it is to live life fully

  4. "Not just the people who may have a shorter life span" so true,no one knows if their life span is shorter.

  5. At her such a young age she is doing all those treatment preparations for herself. Her perseverance and will to survive is amazing..

  6. I cant wach all wideo for your voice.. its to painfully for me I will ask you girll.. to start learning Chine Ti Chi fight technick it is not just about fight it is also about MEDICINE what can save more lifes than you can imagine or make feel peoples as normal ones Believe me I am a master yeas for now I can teach my self but my time is limited and you (responsible good..)youtubers mission is to help more ather peoples as me! trintukas10 @gmail . com price,payment via paypal btc,custom.. this is my job,not just for money.

  7. your absolutely amazing. your very special person. I wish your attitude is contagious, i need to get me some of that awesomeness.

  8. Beautiful spirit! Loved this! Sending good thoughts and healing vibes her way. β™₯οΈπŸ™πŸΌβ™₯️

  9. I feel so bad for this mom and daughter losing their husband/father at only 36! But they're living on not only for hope but also for him too.

  10. Lauren, you are an inspiration – no father, a life impacting condition that would kill you if not for the pump, and still saying things most healthy people need to understand.

  11. "I can't control what happens, only how I respond to it." That is profound. So glad this young woman is able to live her life with such an amazing outlook.

  12. Whenever I say β€œI’m scared” or β€œ I’m going to die” I regret saying that she stays strong cause I’ve never had something like that I mean I have stomach problems but THIS! God please forgive me I have never been in a life threatening situation and she is so please forgive me for saying that cause I know there are way more people (not really most are normal humans) out there that have a disability and diseases and stuff like that

  13. U r sooooo cute nd beautiful nd brave girl… I salute u.. Never give up… Nd god blesss u.. 😭😭❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀😊😊

  14. in my school, people throw people's bags around. i would hate to think if that happened to someone like her : ' (

  15. I hated when i see people like this because oncemi was just like you and then i was 9,years old until iwas 20 then it stop sorry i am crying wright now😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😒😒😒😒😒

  16. currently in the process of being diagnosed with a possible chronic illness which has been making me more and more anxious and this is incredible. she is so positive and has such a great outlook on life, i really wish her the best :')

  17. "What happens happens, it's what you do after that determines whether you keep pushing on or not"

  18. Each like equals the days/months/years that Lauren's heart keeps beating

    God blessπŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ˜₯

  19. This story is so inspiring! She seems like she has the perfect demeanor and determination for nursing school

  20. My sister had to go to the hospital because she had red stuff in her eye pls thumbs upp for Loren and my sister

  21. I've had a tube in the chest to the heart for kemo. And seeing you clean your own around the area then patch on brings back bad moments for me and seeing that just for being done on me. You do yourself is weird to me I guess. You brave.. and me sickened for I know that feeling as a teen. Also changing the bandages on the stomach tube from the nurse omg the emotion!!

  22. What a beautiful soul, I hope you live a long happy carefree life. She is definitely going to change lives❀️❀️

  23. Believe him one day you will be completely cured the things that are not under control of humans are controlled by God he can change things in one blink

  24. i think we all need to realise that: however many chores or pieces of homework we have its never as much as lauren and others like her

  25. Did they ever talk about the hand bag the thing just goes in the handbag I wish that I never had that I feel so bad for her ): like if you feel bad for you πŸ‘‡πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”

  26. Oh God please I beg you …give me this disease…I'm a middle class guy …I know my parents can't afford the expenses … Which means I'll die a slow death…. Damn exciting ❀

  27. This girl is amazing. How she stays positive through all of this, we can learn a lot from her.
    God bless Lauren, and let her live her life to the fullest.

  28. This just clearly shows you should appreciate what you have because there are many people who are less fortunate. Life is short, live the life you want to live. Thank you Jesus for my life,without you where would i beπŸ™πŸ½β€οΈ

  29. BBC ( British broadcasting company) : β€œ My HANDBAG keeps me alive. β€œ

    Lauren ( an American girl) : β€œ I keep it in my PURSE .”

  30. I have this shit, was going to join the army but now I cant. Gunna blow my brains out once it gets worse though tbh. Life aint worth living if you cant do anything

  31. I love you Lauren, I'll do remember you in my prayers.
    You are my Hero, You sre so, strong.
    I just don't have any words to Express…words are less 😞
    Lots of love n prayers from India. ❀

  32. However wants to kill themselves because theye don’t have the I phone x or a car or for stupid listen to this story look at this strong girl and what disease she has be happy for what you have in your live

  33. β€œI can’t control what happens to me but I can control how I react to it.”

    Me; wow I have a,to to learn and will remember that next time i dind something unfair.

  34. I have serious health issues and chronic pain diseases and I have very real anxiety about not having my medications on me or someone stealing it or losing it, so I cannot even imagine knowing your life depends on a piece of machinery, batteries, sanitation, gravely regulated, simple activities like sleeping or showering complicating your life… so brave to be able to even leave the house. What a badass.

  35. When I heard what she had I had that exact same condition! Its sad that theres no cure for PH, but im happy that I know that there are others like me and some of them dont make it, or have to have a harder life or a normal life just by wearing oxygen like me. I was diagnosed with PH when I was really young and I passed out and thats when I had to move to Edmonton and kept on going to the Stollery Children’s Hospital. I was just full on supprised that she had PH. I thought she had something else.❀️

    Ive actually MET Lauren at a camp

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*